In this episode I talk about my experience with overcoming limiting beliefs, and learning from little "failures" along the way. Simple and practical advice and stories about how to successfully transform your thoughts.
CHRIS: This is the Core Balance Podcast, I’m your host, Chris Janke-Bueno.
I’m really excited about today because this has recently been by far, my most favorite topic. When a client comes in, I talk them about fitness and nutrition and everything still but I really like to get into this topic. You guys ever hear the voices? Do you ever hear them in your head?
And again, it’s through some very specific conditioning that I’ve been doing for years you know, 3, 4 , 5 years something like that and the reason why I’m putting this segment in this podcast is because I started to really get some tractions, some results in changing some of those negative belief when I started to approach my mental and emotional health as if it were a fitness program. I’m sure you’ve heard this before that we learn through failure but the way that we go through school is that we have to have it perfect the first time. Our teacher never says, “Hey, I’m going to give you a quiz tomorrow, don’t worry about it, this is not graded. I just want to see where you guys are so that I can tell you exactly how to study and how to really learn the stuff. You know, you have a couple of months to learn this but we really have to get cracking right now, we have to get started right now. And you know, this is really exciting stuff because in the future it’s going to help you X, Y and Z.”
I mean, maybe a few teachers say that, as I was talking right there I was thinking maybe one or two teachers that I’ve had were more like that but unfortunately, most teacher would say, “You know what, here’s Chapter 1, next week we have a test and then we’re moving on to Chapter 2. You don’t get any more chances to work on or to condition Chapter 1 because we’re already done with it, we’re moving on and I expect you to know it, and we’re moving right on to Chapter 2.”
If you think of when you learn to walk, and you might not remember it, I don’t remember learning to walk but I have a 2 ½ year old son, a couple of years ago he was learning to walk and you know, they fall down, they hit their heads I mean, kids, they have absolutely traumatic experiences. As an adult, looking at it, I would think it was traumatic and as an adult, I’m looking at him thinking, “Wow, if he had the adult mindset, he would have quit. He would have quit trying to walk.” It’s just really interesting and a couple of years later when you learn say, ride a bike, or maybe when you learned how to swim, it didn’t come easy right away and I think as we get older, it’s not really a function of getting older maybe we just get conditioned, maybe someone tells us you know, you’ve got to look good. Don’t embarrass yourself, stuff like that. These little failures, we shouldn’t even call them that, but little failures along the way shouldn’t be embarrassing, right?
So, like I said earlier, I’m going to give you some practical techniques. What I’ve been able to do, remember the switch really came to me when I started to treat my mental, emotional health as a fitness program. And what do I mean by that? Well, for years, I would love listening to people like Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer, Jack Canfield, if you don’t know these people or you don’t have any material from them, I would highly recommend going to get some. You’ll find your style, who you really want to listen to. And the reason why I’ve always liked buying these audio programs, I would buy CDs and download stuff, is that I just love listening to motivational talks. I love listening to people talk about where they were when they were growing up. Most people that I listen to, if not all, did not grow up knowing all of these stuff, how to motivate themselves, how to really stay positive no matter what happen. But they have to learn them along the way and so, that really resonated with me because here I was, I didn’t have a bad childhood by any means but I also did not have the tools of you know, persistent, self-directed action and a lot of that was just environment, growing up in school. You have to have it perfect the first time and then probably, also, a lack of connection with what I was actually studying in the first place.
I got very motivated, I started just listening to these guys all the time but what I realized is it wouldn’t stick, it wasn’t sticking, I was just a kind of a passive observer. Again, it finally clicked, this is just like a fitness plan. If someone told me, “Hey, the best exercise to strengthen your upper arm is a bicep curl and I didn’t want bicep curl, I did maybe one set of bicep curls. And then I didn’t touch a weight for another couple of months. And then I got real motivated again, I’ve got to work my biceps and I did another set of bicep curls and then I put it down, I felt really great. And then a couple of weeks or months later, hey I really have to hit my upper arm again, I’ve got to do bicep curls. There’s no consistency and that was me, there was no consistency. So, what I strongly, strongly recommend, I talked to any client who will listen and I tell them this, “Pick one or two very motivational talks, it can be 10 minutes, it can be an hour, something that you can do every day and literally, listen to it every single day for 30 days.”
So, pick something that will motivate you and give you a feeling of that invincibility like, “Yeah, I can do it.” And then listen to that first thing in the morning, while you’re getting ready for work or whatever, put your headphones in and hook it up to your iPhone or your iPod or whatever you have and just listen to it and then right when you’re wrapping down, wrapping up and getting ready for bed at night.
At night, I wash dishes. We have a dishwasher but we don’t use it, always breaks anyway, I wash the dishes. I have about 20 minutes where I can listen to something while I’m doing that. So, I pop in the headphones and I listen to the same thing. I forgot what the numbers are but it’s been proven that the first time you listen to something, within a day or two, you forget, something ridiculous, I think you forget like 90% of what you’ve listened to. But then, you listen again and you’ll only forget 80% and then you listen again, you’ll only forget 60% or whatever but imagine how much you can embody something if you listen to it every day for 30 days. I mean, that’s going to become a part of you.
I remember listening to Tony Robbins you know, that guy talks really, really fast. I think I talk a lot faster than I used to because of him and one of the things that I would do is, as he was talking and I was listening to him in my headphones, I would try to say the exact same thing that he says as he is saying it. You know, I’ve been listening to it all month and so, I would start talking just like him, I started talking really fast and it’s funny because our ears can pick up a lot more information than we can speak. We can hear a lot faster than we can talk. And so, it was amazing, I’ve been listening to this guy for a while and didn’t really realize how fast he talks until I tried to emulate him. And then once I started emulating him, I really started to feel his energy. I started to be able to express it through myself like even right now, I’m talking, I’m getting excited about it, I’m talking faster and being more animated. I’m actually moving right now. And it was amazing. Over the course of maybe 6 months, I literally transformed how I relate to information, how I present information, how I express myself to clients. I mean, everything changed and it was only through this discipline, repetition, over and over and over again.
So, there’s your homework, you are going to go online, you on youtube, get a CD, digital download, whatever it is of somebody who you can emulate, somebody who you respect as far as their information that they can give you. Maybe they’ve come from a similar background or something like that. And then secondly, I want you to repeat this every day for a month and then, this is something I talked briefly about with riding a bike and with walking, you know, kind of how adults are afraid to fail. I want you to pick something in which you are afraid to fail but then instead of going all out, I want you to fail small. I want you to try something small about that and I want you to fail. For example, if you want to speak in front of people, instead of going out and saying, “I want to speak in front of a thousand people tomorrow.” Start small, fail small. Give the speech that you’re going to give in front of three friends and just go for it, be a 100% animated and just be there, boom, this is my speech. And let it be as awkward and stumbly as you need it to be in order to practice, practice, practice, practice.
And so, just like the fact that you’re getting conditioned by listening to somebody, you can condition yourself by expressing yourself and the speech is not going to be pure, polished and perfect but you are going to get a chance to stumble, I don’t want to say fail, I should just say stumble, you will get a chance to stumble and feel what it feels like to learn because it’s when you stumbled when you’re trying to walk, it’s when you stumbled that you learned.
You’ve been listening to the Core Balance Podcast. I’m your host, Chris Janke Bueno. We’ll talk again next time, until then, let’s be fit, let’s be healthy, let’s be happy. It feels good to move so, keep moving even when you fall down.
Stop relying on willpower, motivational tricks, and pump-up strategies and learn how to top into your inner fitness fire with Chris' 60-minute audio book: Ignite Your Fitness Passion (published 2015)
Relieve your back pain with this easy-to-follow video program designed to get to the root cause of your pain: muscle imbalance. Check out the Back Pain Module.
Learn the basic principles that make a successful fitness program with Chris' 60-page book, Functional Strength: The Key To Pain-Free Movement (published 2008)