In this episode I talk about how you can get in touch with the essence of why you want your goal. We really only want a goal because of how we think a goal will make us feel.
Core Balance Podcast. Episode 74.
What do you think your body would look and feel like if you continue to move like you did when you were a kid, before fitness became about treadmills and calories. There is a better way and now you've found it. Welcome to the Core Balance Podcast with your host Chris Janke-Bueno.
Hey, hey, hey, hey and welcome to a great day here at the Core Balance Podcast, I'm your host Chris Janke-Bueno – and do you have a goal? First of all I hope you do. Do you have a health goal? What is it? Why do you want that? Why do you want that health goal that you say that you want? Because if you have a goal I want to tell you today that you can have it now. What do I mean by that? What do you mean Chris? I want to lose 50 pounds. I can't lose 50 pounds right now. You are right. You can't lose 50 pounds right now but if you get in touch with the Why – Why do you want any goal? If you keep asking the why question like you become a toddler and you say Why?! Son the sky is blue. Why?! Because da-da-da-da. Why?! Because – and then you are scrambling. Be that little toddle to yourself.
So what's your goal? I want to lose 50 pounds. Why? Because my pants will fit me like they fit me in high school. Why? Why is that important to you? Because then you know my coworkers will respect me. Why is that important? Because then I'll feel good about myself. Ding-ding-ding. That is the answer. Every goal you can trace down to how you think it will make you feel once you accomplish it. Let me repeat that. Every goal can be traced down to how you think it will make you feel once you accomplish it down the road. So guess what? You can feel it now.
But how can I feel confident if I haven't lost 50 pounds? Well that's the trick, that's the challenge, that's the work that you want to get immersed in because once you immerse yourself in the work of feeling confident, feeling happy, feeling at ease in your body, once you master that, whether or not you have weight on you, whether or not you are overweight won't matter as much. Now you can still take proactive steps to lose the weight but you won't be doing it out of a sense that when it happens I will feel better because I got news for you, you are probably going to let yourself down. You are putting so much stock in the future and you have no idea what it's going to look like.
So I found this out the hard way too that now is all we have and what I'm searching for in the future is available to me now. And that I can have it now and still pursue those other goals that are more external but those external goals are not the source of our satisfaction. Ultimately our satisfaction, our happiness comes from one thing, choosing it. Honestly, it's that easy, it's choosing to be happy, content, fulfilled, confident, proud, whatever you want to feel. And the reason why sometimes we have a hard time with feeling certain emotions is that we haven't practiced. It's as simple as that. We haven't practiced feeling those emotions.
Do you ever notice that on a day to day basis you tend to feel about the same as you did when you were younger? I mean the emotions will tend to come back over and over again that you felt even as a kid unless you train yourself to feel differently. And I'm not saying that your life situation on the outside is going to be the same as when you were a kid. I'm saying the way you respond to life internally will not change unless you change it. This is the most valuable personal training you could ever do. More valuable than doing hundred pushups and 50 dips and 40 pull-ups a day is training your emotional state. So how do you do that? How do you train your emotional state to feel these emotions that you want to feel? Well, a couple of things. One, consistency, you need, need, need consistency. Repetition over time produces results, bottom line, that's all there's to it. This is true in physical training. This is true in emotional, mental, spiritual training, everything. Repetition over time will give you results. So what I would recommend doing first is carving out at least 15 minutes every single morning, at least 15 minutes, ideally 30-45, maybe an hour every single morning – where you are going to do a few things. You are going to walk, you are going to do things that people who feel the way you want to feel do. For example if you want to feel confident what do confident people do? They stand up tall. They maybe you want to go overboard, maybe you want to beat your chest, maybe you want to put a big smile on your face, maybe you want to look up at the sky or at the ceiling and smile. It's really hard to feel unconfident if you are doing all these things with your body language that show confidence. Also along with that body language you want to think the way a confident person thinks. Thoughts such as I'm capable, I can do this, yes, I determine my fate and practice this. I'm going to tell you, at first you are going to feel like a phony because you've not practiced this. You are going to say I'm confident. No you are not. That little you is going to say, no you are not, you are shy, you are bashful, everything you want to do doesn't come true. These are all voices that you heard either from somebody else as a child or maybe you told yourself as a child.
So just know that that voice is going to be there. But your job is not to squash that little voice, your job is to boom with the big voice. So go out, be confident, be resourceful, be successful. Do this every day for a month and I guarantee you after a month you can look back and say – you can ask yourself things like okay in my day to day life how has this new way of being actually affected me and you’ll notice that you start doing things that a confident person does or you will start doing things that a healthy person does. Instead of trying to get your goal and still being that unconfident person you actually shift and you become who you want to become.
So that is the key my friends is to first feel and be what you want to feel and be. And then the goal will follow. But when the goal follows the external goal is just a secondary goal to the satisfaction that you experience within your own heart.
Still have questions, ask me on Facebook and I may answer your question in a future podcast. Visit facebook.com/mycorebalance.
You’ve been listening to the Core Balance Podcast, I'm your host Chris Janke-Bueno. We'll talk again next time. Until then let's be fit, let's be healthy, let's be happy. It feels good to move, so keep moving.
Stop relying on willpower, motivational tricks, and pump-up strategies and learn how to top into your inner fitness fire with Chris' 60-minute audio book: Ignite Your Fitness Passion (published 2015)
Relieve your back pain with this easy-to-follow video program designed to get to the root cause of your pain: muscle imbalance. Check out the Back Pain Module.
Learn the basic principles that make a successful fitness program with Chris' 60-page book, Functional Strength: The Key To Pain-Free Movement (published 2008)